Loopy, Lonely and Lost

Life isn’t going well.

Anxiety is becoming an enormous problem. It’s a constant background hum, keeping me in a state of edginess all day and all night, and bursting into several panic attacks a day. I think they’re panic attacks. Never been told they are, but I don’t know what else they could be. My heart races and my vision blurs and I’m shaking and I’m pacing my room and I feel like I’m going to throw up and I can’t breathe and I can’t think anything other than shitshitshitshitshit.

And then it stops and I burst into tears and I lie down on my bed and everything is hideous.

And I’m thinking, fuck. I have to die. Because this whole ‘living’ thing really isn’t working out. Read the rest of this entry »