Loopy, Lonely and Lost

I didn’t have to go to work today

Posted on: March 1, 2012

I was feeling a little more lively than I’ve been feeling lately, and a little stir crazy at only ever being at work or at home.

So I went out. It sounds like a tiny thing, but it felt like quite a big step. I got on a bus and went to town. There weren’t many people about, and there wasn’t much going on.

I spent a couple of hours out, and all the time I could just feel growing anxiety and paranoia.

Everybody was mocking me. Everybody was staring at me, watching me with suspicious eyes. That awful, creeping, tingling sensation of being watched by everyone who passes by. Even the pigeons seemed to be focused on me, swooping in formation over my head, flying straight at me time after time. I could hear a voice whispering – blurred, mumbled words, the feeling of breath against my ear, a presence at my shoulder I could hear and feel but not see.

I’m calmer now. I suppose leaving the house wasn’t such a good idea.


1 Response to "I didn’t have to go to work today"

I hope you feel better soon. Is there somewhere quieter you can go for a walk?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


My name is Laura. I was once told that I have cyclothymia. This blog is mostly where I write about living as a person with extremes and instability of mood, and the history of a life that led to the development of those symptoms.

I complain a lot, I'm very repetitive, unreliable, and I tend to contradict myself.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 98 other followers


This blog has been visited

  • 81,209 times.
March 2012
« Feb   Apr »
%d bloggers like this: