Loopy, Lonely and Lost

Posted on: February 27, 2012

I’ve hit a bit of a low.

I just…can’t be bothered. With anything. Even typing this is a struggle.

Long hours lying down, staring at walls. Punctuated by a few minutes here and there, pacing the house, restless and aimless. Snapping at my family and, whenever they ask what’s wrong, saying – pathetic, childish, idiotic – “I’m bored“.

I think people at work are talking about me. Judging me, making comments about my greasy hair. Just the thought of a bath or shower makes me feel exhausted. I go to work because it’s easier than answering the questions that would be asked if I didn’t.

I can’t sleep. Nothing is interesting or fun. Food is dull. I’m shit at my job. I keep changing channels on the TV, trying to find something that my brain will engage with.

I don’t want to speak. I don’t want to be around anyone. I feel like my brain is switching off. I feel like I’m dead or dying or some sort of zombie.

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Hello

My name is Laura. I was once told that I have cyclothymia. This blog is mostly where I write about living as a person with extremes and instability of mood, and the history of a life that led to the development of those symptoms.

I complain a lot, I'm very repetitive, unreliable, and I tend to contradict myself.

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