Loopy, Lonely and Lost

Archive for February 2nd, 2012

  • Everything is boring. I start a book, but it doesn’t interest me. I put music on, but it irritates me. I load up the internet and can’t think of a single website that will bring me a moment of enjoyment.
  • My head, neck and limbs hurt, I think from some stress I wasn’t even aware I had.
  • I go to bed just for something to do, but find it hard to sleep, so I spend long hours just lying there, wishing I was unconscious, and I get up in the morning completely unrested.
  • I look awful, but having a shower seems like an insurmountable challenge. Actually, most things seem like too much effort. I just cannot be bothered.
  • I don’t really see the point in anything, and respond negatively to every attempt at conversation. People start saying I’m like Eeyore.
  • I move, speak and think slowly, and find it really hard to get warm.
  • I downright refuse, sometimes aggressively, to discuss the future, or acknowledge it exists.
  • I don’t really feel anything…just slightly irritated, a little unhappy, but mostly just blank.

Argh. I’m feeling shit.

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Hello

My name is Laura. I was once told that I have cyclothymia. This blog is mostly where I write about living as a person with extremes and instability of mood, and the history of a life that led to the development of those symptoms.

I complain a lot, I'm very repetitive, unreliable, and I tend to contradict myself.

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