Loopy, Lonely and Lost

Oh, shit…

Posted on: November 13, 2011

I got a bit drunk. When I say a bit…I’m actually sort of ashamed to admit how much I mean.

Laughing, constantly. Talking too quickly and too high-pitched for anyone to understand what I was saying. Feeling completely out of control, not knowing what I was doing, stumbling all over the place. Talking to strangers, wandering off, sending nonsensical texts to everyone. Nearling getting chucked out of a nightclub. Staying at my friend’s house and keeping her awake by fidgeting and talking in my sleep. Waking up bright and cheerful with no hint of a hangover, like there aren’t even consequences except a smattering of unexplained bruises.

My friend, faux-innocent, looking in to the eyes of a bouncer, and saying, “she hasn’t even had a drink! She’s just got issues”.

It’s okay. It’s not like I do it all the time. It’s just that I got home and my mum was being a spiteful bitch and I wished so much that I was still out, still drinking and dancing and laughing like nothing else exists.

And now I have to go to work tomorrow and face all the people I probably insulted and ignored and embarrassed, and I suppose I’m just feeling sorry for myself.

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Hello

My name is Laura. I was once told that I have cyclothymia. This blog is mostly where I write about living as a person with extremes and instability of mood, and the history of a life that led to the development of those symptoms.

I complain a lot, I'm very repetitive, unreliable, and I tend to contradict myself.

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