Loopy, Lonely and Lost

I don’t feel safe

Posted on: October 19, 2011

Today, my mum attacked my dad. I was sort of in the way.

It’s fine. Everyone’s okay. A bit of furniture got broken and the living room’s a mess, and my dad’s got a bit of a bruise, but no-one’s badly hurt.

Everything’s fine, except I’m fucking terrified.

For the first time in longer than I can remember, she looks…crazy. Wild-eyed and livid, constantly crying and throwing things and snarling and shouting in people’s faces. I don’t know what to say or do. She doesn’t listen to reason.

I’m so scared. I’ve been sort of having panic attacks, being so afraid I can hardly breathe or see or think. My imagination runs away with me and I can’t stop thinking that she might kill someone. It makes me want to sit on the stairs all night, waiting, watching, just in case.

I wish I knew how to make things better.


4 Responses to "I don’t feel safe"

Sounds horrible. :/

Would it be possible to take her to a doctor? I hope things will get better soon.

I agree with Astralis. Maybe some intervention is needed. You poor thing. Must be horrific. Thinking of you x

Sorry, that must be awful. Agree with the others re: getting her some help.

Also agree with the others: get her some help. It’s very understandable that you don’t feel safe if she acts like crazy.

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My name is Laura. I was once told that I have cyclothymia. This blog is mostly where I write about living as a person with extremes and instability of mood, and the history of a life that led to the development of those symptoms.

I complain a lot, I'm very repetitive, unreliable, and I tend to contradict myself.

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