Loopy, Lonely and Lost

Grrrr

Posted on: August 29, 2011

Same old shit. Nothing changes.

I’m doing crap at work because I can’t do anything, but I have to keep going, have to keep doing my best because everyone is ill at the moment, and I’m fine, I just have to find a way to keep moving.

I got a letter from the blood donor people, saying I should see my doctor about the anaemia. I’m going to try to go some time this week, but I can’t see it being much more than, “Hi, I’ve got no blood”, and “Hmm, it seems you have no blood”. People at work have started commenting, though, about how I’m even paler than usual and moving and talking and thinking slowly.

My parents keep telling me I need to ring my driving instructor, arrange another lesson, but I desperately don’t want to. I only started learning in the first place to stop them from telling me to start learning, but the truth is I’m so shit at it, and find it so stressful, and I’m only going to get worse and more stressed out when I can’t think. But I’m too scared to call him and say I don’t want to learn anymore, and too scared to let my parents down, so I just keep pretending I’ve forgotten. I can’t keep that up forever, of course, but I’m struggling to think of an alternative.

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Hello

My name is Laura. I was once told that I have cyclothymia. This blog is mostly where I write about living as a person with extremes and instability of mood, and the history of a life that led to the development of those symptoms.

I complain a lot, I'm very repetitive, unreliable, and I tend to contradict myself.

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