Loopy, Lonely and Lost

Oh dear.

Posted on: January 6, 2009

My mood was quite high last night.

I made a total fool of myself.

I went to my friends’ house. I was talking quickly, lots of wordplay and terrible punning, telling stories, being funny (I thought). My friend laughed and said “Oh my God, you speak really quickly when you’re drunk”, but she didn’t realise that I’d only had a few sips of my first drink of the night.

Then we got a taxi into town and I was so loud in it, swearing and ranting and making the driver uncomfortable, I think.

Then when we got to where we were going we had a few drinks but I wasn’t really drunk, I just felt brilliant like I had done all night. I was talking to strangers, convinced that I knew them.

I was loud and confident and talking, talking all the time, waving my arms around as I spoke, noticing tiny details about things, just generally being a bit of an idiot.

I started saying stranger and stranger things (such as “Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, flat, flat, down, down, and that’s how you get to the toilets”).  Then I was trying to speak too quickly and I couldn’t keep up with myself and ended up just repeating the same words over and over again so that my brain could catch up with my mouth. And then when I couldn’t think of which word to use, I just threw in any word (so I ended up saying things like “We’re going to the the the the the the the the cat”).

All of which is, of course, hilarious, if a little odd. My friends thought it was just alcohol making me like that…I’m not going to deny that I’d had a good few drinks, but drink doesn’t make me act in that way, and it started before I started drinking, although it did get worse throughout the night.

Then we went to a club and I just danced around on my own for hours, talking to people, dancing, having a good time.

Then a man came up to me and said “You’re fucking gorgeous”, and I just said thanks (and thought oh my God, he must have had more to drink than I have) because I’m not used to being approached in that way. Normally I go out with my friend, who is absolutely beautiful, and her lovely face distracts men so the rest of us can have a good time. But she wasn’t out last night and I wasn’t used to it.

Anyway, then he started trying to kiss my neck but he didn’t move my hair out of the way so he was just kissing hair (very sexy, I’m sure) and I spaced out for a few seconds, then burst out laughing and ran away.

That’s pretty much the extent of what I remember of my night out.

I am such a dickhead.

I feel more level today, the day after I’ve been drinking my mood is always a lot lower than it was the night before, and it’s worked quite well in that it was too high last night so today I mostly feel alright.

In other news, a cough which is the remnant of a cold I had before Christmas is still with me, and it’s really annoying, I feel like I’m going to cough up a lung. Mum thinks it’s my asthma, and I suppose it might be but I’m not wheezy and I haven’t had asthma since I was about 15.

Oh well. I’m sure everything will be alright.

2 Responses to "Oh dear."

Blame it on the drink if anyone asks and you don’t fancy telling them the truth, who doesn’t act a bit odd when they have had a few drinks? You won’t be the first to wake up with that “Oh my god” feeling, whether it is from mood or drink. Trust me, I have done far far worse from a combination of the two, I’d fill you in, but am still happily blocking out the carnage!!!! You’ll feel better about it in a day or two, specially if you can talk to someone who was there and laugh about it with them. Sorry to hear about the cough though!

Lola x

somehow every single line u wrote in there is one of my odd drunken evenings – put into words. I am not kidding. 🙂

Welcome to the club of maniacal drunkards! (or maybe drinkers in our case.. we dont qualify to be drunkards!)

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My name is Laura. I was once told that I have cyclothymia. This blog is mostly where I write about living as a person with extremes and instability of mood, and the history of a life that led to the development of those symptoms.

I complain a lot, I'm very repetitive, unreliable, and I tend to contradict myself.

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January 2009
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