Posts Tagged ‘family’
Good?
Posted by: Laura on: November 7, 2009
It’s been a ‘good week’.
If you look at this from the outside, it has. Yes, I spent most of Wednesday in bed, but apart from that…I got everything done. I went to everything. I volunteered answers and ideas in seminars. I even managed to give a presentation. I even managed to do – badly – [...]
Other people.
Posted by: Laura on: October 11, 2009
My mum is in hospital again.
My favourite teacher from college is in hospital.
One of my oldest friends has started a new job, and it’s so confusing and stressful that every evening, when she gets home, she cries.
I feel a bit numb. I don’t know what to do to help.
My problems are nothing, are they? I [...]
Suicidal thoughts.
Posted by: Laura on: October 5, 2009
Sometimes, I like thinking about suicide. I like making plans, setting dates, focussing really hard on it. It makes me happy, briefly. Not real happiness, admittedly, but a kind of determined anticipation, a kind of relief: just a few more days, just another week, and then…nothing. I won’t exist anymore.
Back at uni.
Posted by: Laura on: September 30, 2009
It was going…well.
I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that this is going to be a quiet, solitary year. The people I’m living with are friendly enough, but they’re all very quiet and/or have friends elsewhere, so I haven’t seen much of them. But I was convincing myself that that could be a good [...]
Difficult.
Posted by: Laura on: September 23, 2009
I’m finding it difficult to write here, lately. Difficult to find the words, the ideas, the motivation.
Or, at least…the words and ideas are in my head, but they’re all mixed up, all tangled together like so many kites. And the motivation is there, too, but it’s wayward, misguided, unfocussed.
I have so much and so little [...]
Grumble.
Posted by: Laura on: September 16, 2009
I don’t want to go back to university. I don’t want to stay at home. I don’t want to get a job. I don’t want to do anything. All prospects seem equally shit and impossible.
I went to the cinema with some friends last night, and they were all saying, “When are you going back to [...]
I’m back.
Posted by: Laura on: September 15, 2009
I’ve had a nice holiday, a good holiday. Not really an ideal holiday – depending on my state of mind, my ideal holiday consists of either a) me, some sunshine and a big pile of books, or b) me, my friends, a lot of friendly strangers and a lot of alcohol. Listening to my mother [...]
Arrgh!
Posted by: Laura on: August 30, 2009
“I’m worried about you…you haven’t been out with your friends recently. If there was something wrong, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you? You know I love you, don’t you? And I’ll be there for you, and you can tell me anything.”
Then, five minutes later, when I declined a cup of tea -
“STOP BEING SUCH A MISERABLE [...]
Size, self-esteem and a parent’s influence.
Posted by: Laura on: August 25, 2009
What people think.