Ugh.
Posted by: Laura on: November 3, 2009
Yesterday I was so incredibly on the move and twitchy and fidgety and jittery, and then I got back to my room and, for no reason I could work out, burst into tears. Just horrible, sniffling, unable to breathe properly. Just curled up in a corner muttering, “I can’t do it, I give up, it’s too much,” to myself. For…well, a couple of hours, which is embarrassing. I’d been fine all day…well, perhaps not fine but at least not unhappy.
Then I got up early this morning and went to do my volunteering and I think it went alright but I kept feeling like everyone hated me because who am I to tell them what to do?
And now, I am so. Fucking. Tired. I have so much work to do but I’m too tired, I just want to sleep but I can’t.
3 Responses to "Ugh."
I’m wondering – do you ever feel like you are drifting off to sleep during the day – like when you’re travelling on the bus or anything like that?
You said in an earlier post that it was silent in your room and you couldn’t get to sleep. Could it be too quiet in your room? Perhaps background noise, like a fan, or background noise from outside your window (the odd car, or birds if it’s the early hours) might take your focus off trying to get to sleep. I always like the sound of the fan when I’m going to bd – without it I feel it’s too quiet.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
I’ve tried noise. I’ve tried pretty much everything. I don’t feel like I’m falling asleep anywhere. 
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November 3, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Gah, me too. Everything sucks
You went to volunteering though, that’s a pretty big achievement